Difficult Choices

Just about 30 hours into the event, we reported him missing and sought the assistance of facebook. Much to my amazement, we received an outpouring of support, shares, and sightings. In addition to our contacts, my son received a healthy dose of concern from friends. By the grace of God, we were calmly reunited and we returned home with him early Sunday morning. In 36 hours, the worst and best moments of my life may have occurred. It is my hope that we will all learn a few lessons from this, lessons to better prepare us for the future. 

This week was the first week since I made my journey to lose 100 pounds public. The support conjured up was both heart warming and helpful. You provided me with fantastic tips and tricks. You made me feel like I was not alone. It is amazing how many of us struggle with issues under cover. I am happy to have brought (one of ) my issues out in the open! But... how did I do?

Unfortunately, I am usually the one to jump in both feet first, from 100 feet above water, and by the time I hit the surface again- I am struggling to tread water. I vowed to not do that this week. I started out by just simply pledging to make better choices. Eat more fruits and vegetables. Drink 2-3 liters of water a day. Pack a few meals for work. My own awareness of what I was putting in my mouth became heightened by my effort to exercise each day.

The first few days I did really well and I had amazing results! By Thursday morning, I was down 6 pounds! It's kinda crazy, but it is fantastic what a few good intentions can do to a bad situation. I was not perfect, but I was certainly planned. Planning really seems to be the key to my success. If I pack good for me snacks, I am prepared when hunger strikes. If I have my bottle of water, I don't have the desire(as quickly) for a Diet Pepsi or latte. The more water I drink, the better I feel. As the positive circle was forming, chaos struck me into a spiral.

Friday, my personal life took a tornado twisting spiral. I am usually not in to putting the personal life on blast... but we used social media to our advantage so, the story is out. My teenage son and I had an argument and he ran off, determined he was not coming back. I am an emotional eater. My constant comfort companions are Ben & Jerry. I ate, but I still tried to eat better. I did not gorge on ice cream, I ate an entire bowl of broccoli. I did not grab chips, I ate apples. You know how they say, "You can't have just one"? Have you ever tried to eat a bag of apples???

As I woke up and got on the scale for the first time since Thursday, I learned a bit as well. My weight is down 4 pounds. That means I put on 2 pounds with my stress, but I am still in the positive with a considerable loss. The amazing gourmet cupcake, the lack of water intake, the adult beverages, they all balanced out with the great choices I made earlier in the week. My gain is balance, my loss is work.

I am pleased with my week. I worked hard. I stressed hard. I balanced well. I struggled. I lost.
How did you do?

Until next time...remember, it's not about what gets handed to you or what you go through in life, it's how you react to it that matters.

Mindful Eating Miniseries: Part 4 An Attitude of Gratiude

Remember from our Mindful Eating Mini Series, mindfulness involves bringing one’s full and deliberate attention to what you are doing at the time you are doing it. Mindfulness embraces a moment by moment awareness of the thoughts, feelings, and surroundings of ourselves and others.  We have learned to create mindfulness while eating that favors us to stop, taste, savor, and enjoy the experience of eating.

Despite the awareness of the experience, do you feel like you are still in a rut? Do you fight to make good food choices and feel deprived in the process? Just as the powerful intentions we have learned with mindfulness, what if we took the time to shift our focus? What if we shifted our focus from frustration and deprivation to thoughts of appreciation and gratitude? Gratitude includes being thankful for small things- that may simply be, having food in the first place.

Reflect on your Attitude of Gratitude. Fill in the blanks to the questions below:

I’m glad for____________________.

I’m grateful for____________________.

I am fortunate because____________________.

I do not have to worry about____________________.

Someone in my life I am very thankful for is ______________________because____________________.

Something I do not recognize that is good in my life as often as I should is________________.

I am lucky because____________________.

I am blessed to be able to____________________.

I am happy that I can____________________.

Before you sit down to a meal this week, take a brief moment to appreciate all the different aspects of the food in front of you; the aroma, the colors, the path, the preparer. Having an attitude of gratitude brings mindfulness to your eating and meaning to your mealtime.

Mindful Eating Miniseries Part 3: Savor Each Bite- Practicing Mindful Eating

Remember from our Mindful Eating Mini Series Introduction, mindfulness involves bringing one’s full and deliberate attention to what you are doing at the time you are doing it. Mindfulness embraces a moment by moment awareness of the thoughts, feelings, and surroundings of ourselves and others.  Mindfulness includes acceptance, an awareness of our thoughts and feelings without judging them.

The assignment this week was to invite yourself to a celebratory dinner experience.

1. How did you treat yourself as your own dinner guest? What did you do?
2. How did this compare to how you typically eat?
3. Did the food taste any different in this special environment?
4. Did you feel more in tune with your feelings of hunger and satiety?
5. What was your overall reaction to this exercise?
6. Would you do this on a regular basis?

Celebrating the meal allows us to be in the moment and enjoy the experience. It deters the usual multitasking in thought and action and supports you to be in the moment. You become more aware of your thoughts, feelings, and surroundings. This week we will expand up the experience of eating.

Do you ever find that before you finish chewing the food that is in your mouth, you begin thinking about the next bite? Do you generally pick up the next morsel or forkful before you finish the first? The following activity will ask you to pay full and deliberate attention to your current bite, to savor the moment, to savor the food.

Prepare two slices of fruit. This could be two types of apples, granny smith and gala, or two different fruits entirely, pineapples and strawberries. Place them on a pretty plate. Prepare to complete each step below, pausing in between to ponder the bullet points below.

1. Close your eyes. Take a moment to think about where this fruit came from. Imagine where the fruit grew. Envision how it travelled from the farm to our town to sitting in front of you.
2. Open your eyes. Look at the fruit’s color and shape. Try your best to concentrate on only the fruit. Take a moment to think about the details you see.
3. Pick up one piece of fruit. Notice the scent of the fruit. Imagine how this piece of fruit is going to taste.
4. Now, take a small bite of the fruit. Chew slowly. Try to place your entire focus on this piece of fruit. What is the texture? How does it taste? Is it sweet?
5. Notice the burst of flavor. Take time to chew slowly. Take small bites, chew slowly, until the first piece is gone.
6. Next, pick up your second piece of fruit. Look at the details. Smell it. Imagine the taste. Bite the fruit. Feel the texture and compare the taste. Chew slowly. Take small bites, chew slowly.

Consider this experience. Have you ever eaten like this before? We generally do not take the time to savor each bite. Did the fruit taste any different to you than it has in the past? Was it satisfying? What do you think would happen if you ate like this on a regular basis? Even though it might seem silly, try this for one meal or snack this week.  You may be surprised at how much more satisfying food can be when you stop, taste, savor, and enjoy the experience. 

Mindful Eating Miniseries: Part 2 Be Your Own Guest at Dinner- Creating a Meaningful Mealtime Environment

Remember from our Mindful Eating Mini Series Introduction, mindfulness involves bringing one’s full and deliberate attention to what you are doing at the time you are doing it. Mindful, or mindfull, eating is a powerful strategy that can impact not only your calorie consumption but many other aspects of your life. Mindfulness embraces a moment by moment awareness of the thoughts, feelings, and surroundings of ourselves and others.  Mindfulness includes acceptance, an awareness of our thoughts and feelings without judging them.

Think of a celebrity whom you would love to meet. Imagine you were going to meet this celebrity. Imagine this celebrity was coming to your home for dinner! Imagine… What would you do? What food would you serve? What kind of environment would you create? How might you set the table?

Now, think about how you typically eat dinner…

Do you usually eat seated, standing, or perhaps in front of the television? Do you light candles? Set a nice place for yourself? Are you lucky if the food makes it out of the containers onto the plate?? The reality is that most of us would respond with little or no preparation or effort. Why? Ask yourself, why do I not make a big fuss over my own meal? You do not even know the celebrity yet we “roll out the red carpet” for them… but not our own self. It is important that you recognize and celebrate your own value. This, however, is easier said than done. The assignment this week is to invite yourself to dinner.

How do you invite yourself to dinner? Simply, treat yourself as you would a special dinner guest: turn the television off, light a candle, set a place at the table. Savor each bite. The food can be as simple as a frozen entrée, but take it out of the box and place it on a dinner plate.  The idea is to create an experience for you… so you not only enjoy the meal, but celebrate yourself. Try this for at least one meal this week.  We’ll discuss our experiences at our next meeting.

Ask yourself the following questions after putting this into practice:

1. How did you treat yourself as your own dinner guest? What did you do?
2. How did this compare to how you typically eat?
3. Did the food taste any different in this special environment?
4. Did you feel more in tune with your feelings of hunger and satiety?
5. What was your overall reaction to this exercise?
6. Would you do this on a regular basis?

Mindful Eating Miniseries: Part 1

Imagine it is Friday night and you are at the movies. You sit down with your dearest friend beside you and as you chat you dig your hand into a jumbo bucket of buttered popcorn. The lights dim, the previews begin, and before the beginning credits roll… your hand hits the bottom of the empty bucket! HOW DID THAT HAPPEN? It doesn’t only happen in the dark at the movies. Popcorn may not be your thing.  Be it the bowl of ice cream, bag of chips, or dish of candy- sometimes it just seems to disappear.

I dare sa, it has happened to all of us.

In our defense, we live in a society of multitasking. We seem to be in a constant state of juggling thoughts and actions. It is not uncommon to be juggling ten tasks at once. It is difficult to keep track of what we are doing. Many times we multitask in a mindless way; we do not even think about what we are doing. Somewhere there is a balance in opposition of multitasking and mindlessness, this balance occurs in mindfulness.

Mindfulness involves bringing one’s full and deliberate attention to what you are doing at the time you are doing it. Think about that- full and deliberate attention. Do we ever put full attention to one task? When was the last time you can recall concentrating on only one thing? When have you completed just one task before you move on to thinking about the next one? Undivided attention seems to be a rarity in our days.

If we turn our thoughts about mindfulness from tasks and activities to our eating habits, I challenge you to think of the word as mind-full-ness. How do we know when we are FULL? If we are so distracted by the other tasks we are completing and still others we are contemplating, how can we possibly notice the signs that we are full?

Over the next few lessons, I will incorporate ideas from the TOPS Program, Mindful Eating Mini-Series to illustrate the importance of bringing full and deliberate attention to our eating. Mindful, or mindfull, eating is a powerful strategy that can impact not only your calorie consumption but many other aspects of your life. There are many roots and branches of mindfulness practices, all involve being in the moment. Mindfulness embraces a moment by moment awareness of the thoughts, feelings, and surroundings of ourselves and others.  Mindfulness includes acceptance, an awareness of our thoughts and feelings without judging them. Studies have shown that practicing mindfulness, even for a short period of time, can bring physical, psychological, and personal/social benefits. 

GPS: New Direction for Fitness and a Healthy Lifestyle

When you leave your house… do you usually know where you are going? I do. I know before I even get ready to leave. Depending on where I am going determines when I leave, who or what pet goes with me, what I wear, if I do my hair or put makeup on, and what I bring with me. I live in the country and am surrounded by woods and fields so, very little I do involves not getting in my car. My car has a fancy dashboard with satellite conveniences, including GPS. Programming the GPS is easy and has several benefits… I rarely leave my house without a destination in mind, so I almost always have my GPS programmed. I love the precise knowledge of expected time of arrival and the ability to be alerted of traffic updates and detours.

GPS- global positioning system. Did you know there are actually 24 global satellites and when four of them are unobstructed and line up with you, BAM! that’s how you get your GPS location (so says Google and Wikipedia). I thought of this amazement with a revelation… why can’t we have a weight loss journey or fitness GPS? How fantastic would it be to hear “700 calorie chocolate chip cookies ahead, turn away now” or after you have made a less than desirable choice you may hear, “recalculating, use the elliptical for 30 extra minutes and resume normal activity as planned.” Let’s face it, most of us know how to succeed in our journey. It is the action of succeeding that is challenging. I am fully aware of what to do, it’ the doing it that pains me.

I am challenged with a healthy lifestyle. I am challenged with a desire to lose 100 pounds. I am challenged to build a community of others like me and share our strategies, successes, and struggles to support each other through. Three years ago, I used my blog to celebrate my 40^th birthday. I created a list of 40 fantastic things and enlisted the help of friends and family to check off and add to it. Weight loss was an item on my list… it remains unchecked.

Here I am on another journey. This journey is a story of success. It is a story where I set up a series of strategies to assist in achieving a healthy lifestyle. Just like the varied unobstructed view of the satellites in space for my GPS, I know that not every strategy will be in full effect every moment. It is my hope that a few will remain lined up and just like GPS, BAM! enough line up to provide me with the path to success.

So, join me on my journey. Watch, learn, offer insight, share strategies and successes.

Here’s to a healthy lifestyle, and of course… a little less of me. 

Jen

How well did I fly into forty?

With less than a week until my 41st birthday, I have been reflecting on how well I flew fabulously into forty. I have to say, I can’t rattle off the forty things I thought I’d do. Some days, it’s hard to think of more than two or three experiences we created in the spirit of being fabulous. Usually, there’s someone around who says, Jen… didn't you [insert fun experience] and begins to tell one of my stories. I earned a bit of a reputation as the Queen of Fun while I began creating and crossing things of my list. I rarely added an experience without pulling in a few close friends, a few of their friends, and even a few new friends. Creating this list, writing this list and crossing things off this list has truly changed not my life… but my lifestyle. There have surely been a few struggles with my new style of life, but overall it has been a shift of positivity.

Let’s see how I did on my fabulous flight into forty...

1.      Complete 40 blog posts.

This blog is electronic proof of this task etched in everafter. I have enjoyed writing more than I ever expected. I was never one to keep a journal or write in a diary. I was surprised how cathartic and enjoyable blogging is!

2.      Lose 40 pounds.

This simply did not happen. In fact, I may have gained 40 pounds since this list was started! I have realized that I am an emotional eater. I eat when I am happy, sad, angry, and on and on. I have a lot of work to do on this. I have a lot of bad habits to break. I have a lot of new patterns to form.

3.      Complete 40 Random Acts of Kindness.

Random acts of kindness are fantastic. We did things such as paying a toll for people behind us in line, putting together plates of yummies and handing them out randomly throughout our workplace, hellos and smiles to the next ten people we make eye contact with, and many, many more. This stuff is easy, it is fun, and it is a blessing to you and others. Do it. It’s the simplest thing on the list and maybe one of the fastest spreading.

4.      Have sex 40 days in a row.

Ugh. Not done. I certainly had a lot more sex because of this list, but not 40 days in a row. We’ve been together about 10 years now. We have kids and jobs and pets and stuff that gets in the way and forty days is a loooong time! I have to tell you folks, I love my husband and he loves me. But… there may not have been 40 days in a row that I liked him and he liked me. Marriage is work, it is compromise, it is joy, it is sorrow, it is bargaining, it is rewarding, it is sometimes keeping your distance to keep your sanity. Some days, sex is difficult from a distance.

5.      Take control of my spending and journal each penny spent, for at least 40 days.

Yeah, I did it. I spend way too much on coffee. I spend too much on shoes and clothes, even at the Goodwill store. I work hard for my money, and I spend it hard too. I did increase my retirement investments (uh, so I have more to spend when I stop working) and I did increase my general savings. I did create a concrete plan to be debt free (aside from the mortgage) that is a little over half complete. I did not however greatly adjust my fun money habits. I added an extra job to allow for more spending. J

6.      Share an event in NYC with my son; a play, a parade, a panhandler.

I shared a NYC whirlwind trip including the Statue of Liberty and the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade experience with not only my son, but included my husband, daughter and a dear friend. Amazing experiences, fantastic fun, and good times.

7.      Photograph and frame a series that has meaning from this experience.

I just realized this and actually missed this one! I took a lot of pictures and have a few framed, but no collage sort of thing has been done. I must add this to my to do list and frame it up!

8.      New INK!

I got not one, but two new pieces of ink this year. I added a pretty big thigh piece that is funky, colorful, and unique that reminds me to “create joy.” I also added a mother-son symbol to honor that relationship. That makes four tattoos for me. I had an amazing nursing skills lab group that honored me with a gift card and mentioned it could be used for another tattoo to forever remember them. I have one in the planning stages… and a gift card in my wallet. 

9.      Go horseback riding.

I missed this one! I will have to look into this and work on completing it.

10.  Do something in the sky; para-sail, skydive, hot air balloon.

I didn't complete this task either. I had two plans begin and was not able to carry them out. I must go back to the planning board on this one too.

11.  Inspire one other person to embrace their life moment with positivity.

This has been one of the most impactful lessons of this list. I have had so many people start their own list, plan their own adventure, or join in one of my adventures! It is amazing to see a positive impact you have on another person. Whether your impact carries on throughout a lifetime or it is just for a moment, recognize the blessing you are to others when you simply share positivity.

12.  Meditate more, rage less.

I am not the person who can simply be mindful in my own meditation. I am easily distracted, difficult to calm, and willing to let my mind wander. It takes a focal point for me to truly relax and be one with my soul. I have embraced art in my life as a meditative focus. I have learned the power of doodling for relaxation, with intention, and simply to free my mind. I have a stack of canvases and acrylics to dabble with. I have a box of pens, pencils, and sharpies to doodle. Art is powerful. Art is good for my soul.

13.  Music, music, music. Feed my soul with music everyday.

Music calms the savage beast… and makes many a moment better for me. I have a desktop speaker at work, a speaker in the kitchen and another in my bedroom, and auxillary cord in my car. My phone and ipod are packed with music apps and song files of my favorites. I plug in and can change my mood in a minute. I rediscovered a few of my favorites and came across a few new ones. Sing and dance, guaranteed mood improver.

14.  Find out what my gifts are, and use at least a few of them.

Indeed I did. I also realized a few of what I am not gifted with. Maybe I’ll blog about it someday.

15.  Listen to and take my own advice and allow the eternal optimist image to flow inside and out.

This is a constant battle, but I have surely learned a few lessons and created a few good habits.

16.  Try 40 new recipes.

I did it! Some were successes, others were epic fails. My opinion was not always that of the other members of my household. I remembered that despite how much I love tofu, I hate cooking it. I finally made a batch of biscuits that were golden brown and not black on the bottom. I really love my crockpot.

17.  Pose for pin up style pictures with our classics, at least 40 poses.

Man! This was a great idea, but another I never got completed!

18.  Memorize 40 verses of scripture.

I am not sure I memorized 40 verses, but I sure did read my Bible a lot more than usual. I prepared a few lessons for the youth at church, I placed a devotional on my desk and read it at least a few times per week, I started a group class at church. I certainly put some of the Good Stuff in my mind this year… here’s hoping it helped my mind run a little better.

19.  Volunteer somewhere new for at least 40 hours.

I am not sure if I made forty hours, but I did volunteer for a few different things. I could always use a little more volunteerism.

20.  Dance in a mud puddle, with company.

This idea was one of the best. I completed Mud Warrior with a team of amazing people. We made memories that will never be forgotten.

21.  Experience a sunset in a place where I have never been.

I love the sunset. I certainly paid a lot more attention to the sun falling upon the horizon. I was able to experience it from an airplane over a few different states, falling into the Atlantic Ocean in at a few different latitudes, in the Bahamas, over the Arizona desert, into the mountains from my own woodsy view, and from a variety of places in the arms of the man I love. There is no more favorite time for me then when the sun falls in the sky and the ones I love surround me… and we take a moment to just enjoy the movement of the sun.

22.  Climb a lighthouse.

I saw a few lighthouses, but none with a set of stairs we were allowed to climb. Another task to complete.

23.  Send 40 handwritten notes by mail.

In this electronic age, handwritten notes are a treasure. It takes a special thought and intention to write one and send it. It is a special feeling to receive one. It’s easy, send one today.

24.  Purchase $40 worth of scratch off lottery tickets.

I did and I think I would consider it a loss. I blogged about it, but just continued to turn in my winners until I won big or won no more… guess which came first?

25.  Have professional family photos taken.

This was fun! My husband and our two kids, and two of my nephews posed and posed. Must do again.

26.  Reduce my own carbon footprint.

We made an effort. We made a difference.

27.  A polar plunge.

This was amazing and another favorite. The Four Frosted Flakes. I blogged about this too.

28.  Make contact with, make time for, and make memories with friends; old and new.

Friendships are priceless. I have gained a few, lost one or two, and created a slew of new ones. Make time for friends, they are good for the soul.

29.  Make a gallon of wine from honey or fruit.

Oh no! Another one I missed. I can say I did get my hands and lips on a few good pints that someone else made though!!!

30.  Experience a girls weekend!

Done! Need to do more often!

31.  Participate in a local festival I have not experienced.

I actually experienced several fantastic local festivals. Seeking and paying attention to events has certainly been a bonus of this list.

32.  Do nothing.

I have enjoyed a lot more of down time, do nothing time, idle time. I love the activity and adventures, but the idle time is equally as enjoyable- and important.

33.  Unfriend 40 people who really aren’t my friends on facebook.

YES! I probably should do it again every so often.

34.  Be the wife that makes my husband smile.

I have done this more some times and less others. Surprisingly, much of the list has taken me away from my husband as I have experienced people, places, and things that may not interest him or work into his schedule. It has made me realize that scheduling time with him, with and without our kids is as important as me time.

35.  Ride a mechanical bull. Done! Epic fail, but so much fun!

The rest was left blank, but here are some honorable activities that were thought of after the list…

36.  Master Bedroom Redo

37.  The Color Run

38.  The Ridiculous Obstacle Course Race

39.  FunNiteArt

40.  Gus the Great Dane

Thanks for reading through to the end of the list.

Perhaps this will be the beginning of another list and… another season of blog posts.

Everything Happens for a Reason

Despite the current condition of our relationship, I am very thankful for lessons I learned from my mother. As early as I can remember, she told me I was someone special. From an imperfect beginning was born an amazing young girl who had a very special purpose.  “Everything happens for a reason” was a phrase I heard throughout my life. It became my own mantra. It helped me believe that there was a reason why I always got pink eye just before school picture day, why I was the tallest kid in class until the boys grew armpit hair, why I didn’t know my biological father, and why people who were different could be punished for just being different. I don’t know how it happened, I don’t remember when it happened, but I do know I have always had the faith that there was a greater plan for each of us and we were not privy to the upcoming details.

As I have grown, I have realized that my open thoughts about being special may have insulted a few people through the years. My heart and soul never intended that. Each of us has our own amazing and special purpose in life. It is up to you to find your gift and use it the best way you can. It is up to each of us to help another. Some moments, we are better at using our gifts than others… and indeed, this is all part of the plan. Each event has a lesson for us to learn, a story to be told, a person to prepare. To me, we are all a great big puzzle meant to come together. Each puzzle piece is different, we are not meant to be compared to one another. Each puzzle piece is interdependent on the others to make something complete.

The more I open my mind, the more my perspective changes. Rev. Wright of Union Baptist Church preached a sermon several weeks ago not feeling well and apologized for not being at his best; his words became everlasting wisdom to me that afternoon. He explained that joy is not an emotion or a state of being, but that joy is a simple gift from God. It is a fruit of the spirit and provides overwhelming comfort and contentment that flood’s the soul of the believer (Gal 5:22, Eph 1:12-14, 4:30). It is our belief that gives us the comfort and contentment of joy. Joy, the middle name my mother gave me. Joy, the contentment even in times of sorrow that has allowed me to believe God has placed me right where I need to be. Joy, while it is not always easy, it is what has allowed me to have gratitude for the lessons of my life.

My worship is diverse as is my life. Just this past Sunday, Pastor Katie McKown from Scottsville Baptist Church preached a sermon titled “We Will Not Keep Silent.” She is an amazing storyteller and provides many visual pearls in her lessons. This week, I heard that each of us has an amazing, special purpose, w are all jewels in a crown. As it is written, we are crowns in the hand of the Lord (Isaiah 62:3). Her sermon pulled together and validated “everything happens for a reason” and that reason is that we are all in process. God’s plan, God’s purpose is that we may walk through the storm and walk through the success with the same faithfulness. I believe it is the process that glorifies God.

Tonight I am thankful for the lessons of three people in my life, my mother, Reverend Wright, and Pastor Katie. Sometimes it takes forty years to learn a lesson. This lesson was a forty year process for me. Tonight, the joy in my spirit, the content in my heart, the faith in the process, may they all be glory to God.

Fortieth Birthday Days Away

With my fortieth birthday just a few days away, many people have asked about my progress on THE list: Flying Fabulously into Forty. My answers have been, “I’m not sure” and “I need to check on it” and “I really don’t know.” It’s time I pull up the old blog and check in. As I drove home this evening, I thought about the list. I could barely recall a dozen items from it and certainly not all forty. The lack of service and the twisty, windy nature of Route 20 allowed me to remain deep in thought and resist the temptation of checking my blog from my phone for the drive home. Thirty consecutive minutes of thought, it would have been twenty minutes if it wasn’t so rainy.

As I reflected on the events of the last year I remembered the tutus and tiger ears of the Polar Plunge, the bruises and stitches from Mud Warrior, Thanksgiving in NYC, and the beauty of the Bahamas. I thought about a dozen things that may or may not have been on the list that I said yes to this year. I finally took the leap into graduate school. I went a whole year without dying my hair. I wore a badge that said adjunct faculty. I spent more time with my teenage bestie and a host of friends; old and new. I stopped, I relaxed, and I did nothing. Simple unplanned seconds to long planned adventures; all in the name of being fabulous.

The events of the year were not all fabulous. The forty pounds I hoped to lose, still here. This year, my relationship with my spouse may have had the greatest variety, wax and wane, smile and scream, peak and valley. The hot air balloon ride I listed, never planned the details. Tears, jeers, and fears were shared, hidden, and exploded with my mother leading to the current state of no communication. I neglected my home to enjoy a few others and experiences. I began to put myself first, and sometimes that means someone else is not.

The experiences of this year have all been present for a reason. I have learned from each and every one. Most of all, I have learned that life is never going to stop and wait for you to enjoy it. Life is slipping through our fingers at an amazing rate. I can remember sitting on my Nana’s couch and hearing “Like sands through an hourglass, these are the Days of Our Lives.” Yes, THESE are the days. THESE are the only days we get. The days that the phone is ringing and the laundry is mounding… the days that there is football practice and dinner is late… the days that the kids are sick and the checking account is empty… the days that your husband is cranky, the kids are cranky, and so are you. These are our days. Accept it. Find the joy in it. The list is not complete. The list has created a new perspective. I hope you will join me as I admit not only what is fabulous about forty, but what may not be and how I manage to make it through. J

Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade 2012





Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade 2012

One of the items on my list was to do something with my son in NYC. There are always memories to be made on the streets of NY. Some of my craziest stories are from days of cutting class and hanging out in Battery Park. I truly believe that NYC holds some of the most amazing sights, sounds, smells and simple freaks of all the world... you have to experience it for yourself. But- this blog is about the parade...I pulled in my husband and our kids and planned a trip for the Thanksgiving Day parade; a dear friend inspired by my Feed Your Soul Fantastic adventure decided she would experience a first and journey along with us (details to follow in another blog).

 

Tom the HUGE Turkey

Off we went for two nights in Newark and a day in Manhatten! We stayed adjacent to Penn Station thinking we'd take the PATH in and save some cash and trouble... what? Nearly $75 to get us in... needless to say tolls and parking were easier and cheaper than that. Nix the train experience! I will have to plan an underground experience another time. (It'll give me an excuse to take the kids again soon!) Off we were at barely six am, I could feel the anxiety of the city proudly emerging as I cussed like a sailor at the traffic despite my sweet, dear, Southern, Christian friend in the backseat. Ah, I'm home. We were parked and journeying towards Columbus Circle before the crowds were thick and the steam still rose with each breath.



The Pilgrims

We found a great spot on Central Park South and settled in with coffee and crying children. The college girls in front of us chatted and chatted as Ashley and I rolled our eyes and Caleb winked his. The sun rose, the streets warmed, and the crowd began buzzing only the way a NY crowd can. The clowns came running and got everyone on their feet... the parade is coming... the parade is coming! Excited cheers and whoooooo's and screams and hollers, but not a yeee- haw to be heard. 





Ronald has a head wound!

The Famous Macy's Stars danced along and Hello Kitty and Kermit and Sonic and Buzz. There was the huge Tom Turkey that seemed a little smaller, the big headed pilgrims and the President's too. I  was bouncing and cheering, even more excited than the kids. I'd finally got to see the very things I have gotten up early to watch each third Thursday in Novemeber ever since I can remember. Right after the thing I miss so much, a simple turkey dance. A tear fell from my eye for the memory of the turkey dance, only few will understand. 



Cheerleaders!

 

I was quickly distracted by the excitement of "There they are!!!!" from my son. The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, he'd been watching manholes all morning just waiting for one to appear. A simple scene to bring this growing young man right back to my snuggly little boy, reminding me of my short little brother nearly a generation before. TMNT who knew?







 

Here comes Spidey!

In between the floats and excitement were all the stars... famous people right there just about within our reach. People that were much easier to recognize when there name appears below them on the screen or when they have a sign falling straight and not floating in the wind at the parade. There was Colbie Calliat no wait, that's not her... who is that? There's The Wanted and Carly Rae Jepsen and who the heck are Meg & Liz? KAREEM ABDUL-JABBAR? There's Whoopi and Gabbie with the rest of the Fab Five and Rachel Crow with Dora! Who's that man with the guitar at Mt. Rushmore and Cody Simpson made the girls go wild and Mannheim Steamroller and a really cool band on a Gibson guitar. 











Jennette McCurdy- Sam from iCarly

Oh wait there is Colbie Calliat, who was that other blonde... that was Miss America! Jennette Mc Curray from iCarly and Trace Adkins and hey, somebody said that was Jimmy Fallon & The Roots on the guitar! There were power rangers and elf on the shelf and yes, Virginia there is a Santa Claus. OH MY GOODNESS! It is Mario and the lady and Gordon from Sesame Street and now I am crying!!! I loved those guys growing up and watched them act silly when my brother was growing up and watched them get old as my son grew up and

I AM CRYING AS I WATCH THEM AT THE MACYS THANKSGIVING DAY PARADE AT NEARLY 40 YEARS OLD!

Sesame Street on Central Park South!





The Fab 5 2012 Olympians





Kareem Abdul- Jabbar





FLO RIDA!



It was fantastic to blend our excitement with that of the crowd. We bounced and got excited. We bounced to keep warm. We worked to explain who they people were... or who we thought they could be. Then it was FLO RIDA! Holy Cow, FLO RIDA is in front of us... dancing with some white chick with pink hair... I WANNA BE HER!!! Then we worked to explain to Lynda how to say FLO RIDA and who he was. It was all so much fun, all so amazing, all so worth every second, every dime and every stumble to get there. If you haven't done it... do it. Make a plan, follow the crowd, and tell me about it. 

 

 



 



 

 

 

 

 P.S. Formatting and pictures suck. I hope you enjoy them!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Above all, be the heroine.

Life presents you with challenges every day. Some challenges are simple. Some challenges feel as though they may kill you. Luckily, most of life’s challenges fall somewhere in between and while we may struggle, we get to the other side relatively unscathed. No matter what the challenge, each of us will meet it with a different perspective. For many, we may meet the same challenge six days before or two years later with a completely different perspective and method of attack (or retreat).  I believe not one person truly has the ability to see a challenge from another’s perspective. While it may be our responsibility to listen, guide or encourage each other through… judgment does not have a place. Judgment is one of life’s greatest challenges.

I have been known as the outgoing, chatty, eccentric, loud type through most of my circles. Despite my readiness to jump in front of the crowd and break into song and dance or stand in front of a room of people and facilitate an all day event, I too struggle with the wonderment or judgment. I may not be very concerned with if they like my hair or outfit, or if my hips look big while I am in front of the crowd- believe that I changed my outfit seven times before I left the house. Chances are the outfit is over the top as a distracter. If I sing off key or am unaware of the answer to a question, I am ok with that- I pride myself in not being perfect and expect some margin of error; and I encourage others to as well. It gives you an amazing degree of confidence to admit you make mistakes and it is really ok.

While we generally place judgment on the things we see and do, the wonderment of judgment affects us more on the inside. I will however feel an emotional hurt or perhaps, notice a psychological void, and bury it with retail therapy, gift giving or an overindulgent meal. We all have our challenges. I have often taken this approach rether than finding a safe spot. I have not always had a person you can go to that says, “I love you no matter what” or a set of arms that when you are snuggled in them you know you are safe and protected from anything. When the world judges, when the stones are cast be it by eyes, words, or deeds, we all need a place that is safe. These amazing people and places may come and go in life. As we are human, our ability to support each other changes as well. Treasure those people and places that feel right and allow those who do not feel safe anymore to go. Find and nurture a spiritual relationship, for that is the only true safe spot that is divine.

When it all comes down to it, God has already written your story. You however, have the power to change it. Only you have the power to become the heroine or the victim. Choose your perspective well, my friends. Know that you can make your story a success; at any moment, at every moment, you have every bit of power that you need to make your story a success. Life is filled with challenges. Be the heroine of your story today.

Uniforms: What You May Not See

When I was a little girl, I thought the hardest job must be one that required a man to wear a uniform. My grandfather seemed to work sunrise to sunset, or vice versa. H e went to work in his bluish-grey uniform with NYS Thruway embroidered above the pocket. He drove a wrecker and did something with bridge patrol. I remember being a little girl and getting to drive down this secret road off the Tappan Zee Bridge and down near the river. We’d wind up in what I thought was a secret complex of big trucks and cars with lights on top, and hard working men in uniforms.

When I was a little older, the head of one of the most influential families of my teen years wore a greenish-grey uniform and he too seemed to be one of the hardest working men. Billie went to work when we were all fast asleep. As we got a little older, he still worked the same hours, but left as we were sneaking in. He worked through the night and came home in the wee hours of the morning.

 

I have grown to adore those hard working men in uniforms; the one I love wears a dark blue uniform with a bright yellow and red patch. He works hours and hours and might be one of the hardest working men around. Sometimes, I forget to tell him how much I appreciate his hard work. He rises before the sun and comes home in the dark.  I know he does this all in love and support of his family.

My uniform has been very different than those hard working men. My uniform was one of starched white cotton that later in my career turned to fashionable colors and prints that felt like cozy pajamas. That uniform has taken me through some of the hardest, yet most rewarding days of my life. While that uniform may be easily identified and holds a great deal of my professional pride, another uniform has been the most important in my life.

For nearly a decade and a half I have worn a uniform sun to sun that truly expresses the hardest job I could have ever imagined. My daily wear was once one of smudgy handprints and snotty noses. I’ve carried a large stick and held a soft pillow. I’ve wiped tears and showcased smiles. I’ve shuttled friends and cuddled to make amends. The most difficult job I have ever known is that of a parent, and perhaps even more difficult that of a step-parent.

 

I love my kids, be it by birth or by marriage. They have truly been the most amazing thing in each day of my life. There have been days when they look me in the eye and wish me to disappear. There are days that they have felt my love and support and thanked me from their heart. The most difficult job I ever imagined can only be carried out with love. No matter what, no matter when, no matter how, I will work my entire life, from sun to sun, to water my children with love. It is not always easy to see the growth, sometimes it is below the surface. Someday, one day, many days, the growth is obvious and the hardest job in the world is also the most amazing, rewarding, fantastic day.