Fortieth Birthday Days Away

With my fortieth birthday just a few days away, many people have asked about my progress on THE list: Flying Fabulously into Forty. My answers have been, “I’m not sure” and “I need to check on it” and “I really don’t know.” It’s time I pull up the old blog and check in. As I drove home this evening, I thought about the list. I could barely recall a dozen items from it and certainly not all forty. The lack of service and the twisty, windy nature of Route 20 allowed me to remain deep in thought and resist the temptation of checking my blog from my phone for the drive home. Thirty consecutive minutes of thought, it would have been twenty minutes if it wasn’t so rainy.

As I reflected on the events of the last year I remembered the tutus and tiger ears of the Polar Plunge, the bruises and stitches from Mud Warrior, Thanksgiving in NYC, and the beauty of the Bahamas. I thought about a dozen things that may or may not have been on the list that I said yes to this year. I finally took the leap into graduate school. I went a whole year without dying my hair. I wore a badge that said adjunct faculty. I spent more time with my teenage bestie and a host of friends; old and new. I stopped, I relaxed, and I did nothing. Simple unplanned seconds to long planned adventures; all in the name of being fabulous.

The events of the year were not all fabulous. The forty pounds I hoped to lose, still here. This year, my relationship with my spouse may have had the greatest variety, wax and wane, smile and scream, peak and valley. The hot air balloon ride I listed, never planned the details. Tears, jeers, and fears were shared, hidden, and exploded with my mother leading to the current state of no communication. I neglected my home to enjoy a few others and experiences. I began to put myself first, and sometimes that means someone else is not.

The experiences of this year have all been present for a reason. I have learned from each and every one. Most of all, I have learned that life is never going to stop and wait for you to enjoy it. Life is slipping through our fingers at an amazing rate. I can remember sitting on my Nana’s couch and hearing “Like sands through an hourglass, these are the Days of Our Lives.” Yes, THESE are the days. THESE are the only days we get. The days that the phone is ringing and the laundry is mounding… the days that there is football practice and dinner is late… the days that the kids are sick and the checking account is empty… the days that your husband is cranky, the kids are cranky, and so are you. These are our days. Accept it. Find the joy in it. The list is not complete. The list has created a new perspective. I hope you will join me as I admit not only what is fabulous about forty, but what may not be and how I manage to make it through. J

Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade 2012





Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade 2012

One of the items on my list was to do something with my son in NYC. There are always memories to be made on the streets of NY. Some of my craziest stories are from days of cutting class and hanging out in Battery Park. I truly believe that NYC holds some of the most amazing sights, sounds, smells and simple freaks of all the world... you have to experience it for yourself. But- this blog is about the parade...I pulled in my husband and our kids and planned a trip for the Thanksgiving Day parade; a dear friend inspired by my Feed Your Soul Fantastic adventure decided she would experience a first and journey along with us (details to follow in another blog).

 

Tom the HUGE Turkey

Off we went for two nights in Newark and a day in Manhatten! We stayed adjacent to Penn Station thinking we'd take the PATH in and save some cash and trouble... what? Nearly $75 to get us in... needless to say tolls and parking were easier and cheaper than that. Nix the train experience! I will have to plan an underground experience another time. (It'll give me an excuse to take the kids again soon!) Off we were at barely six am, I could feel the anxiety of the city proudly emerging as I cussed like a sailor at the traffic despite my sweet, dear, Southern, Christian friend in the backseat. Ah, I'm home. We were parked and journeying towards Columbus Circle before the crowds were thick and the steam still rose with each breath.



The Pilgrims

We found a great spot on Central Park South and settled in with coffee and crying children. The college girls in front of us chatted and chatted as Ashley and I rolled our eyes and Caleb winked his. The sun rose, the streets warmed, and the crowd began buzzing only the way a NY crowd can. The clowns came running and got everyone on their feet... the parade is coming... the parade is coming! Excited cheers and whoooooo's and screams and hollers, but not a yeee- haw to be heard. 





Ronald has a head wound!

The Famous Macy's Stars danced along and Hello Kitty and Kermit and Sonic and Buzz. There was the huge Tom Turkey that seemed a little smaller, the big headed pilgrims and the President's too. I  was bouncing and cheering, even more excited than the kids. I'd finally got to see the very things I have gotten up early to watch each third Thursday in Novemeber ever since I can remember. Right after the thing I miss so much, a simple turkey dance. A tear fell from my eye for the memory of the turkey dance, only few will understand. 



Cheerleaders!

 

I was quickly distracted by the excitement of "There they are!!!!" from my son. The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, he'd been watching manholes all morning just waiting for one to appear. A simple scene to bring this growing young man right back to my snuggly little boy, reminding me of my short little brother nearly a generation before. TMNT who knew?







 

Here comes Spidey!

In between the floats and excitement were all the stars... famous people right there just about within our reach. People that were much easier to recognize when there name appears below them on the screen or when they have a sign falling straight and not floating in the wind at the parade. There was Colbie Calliat no wait, that's not her... who is that? There's The Wanted and Carly Rae Jepsen and who the heck are Meg & Liz? KAREEM ABDUL-JABBAR? There's Whoopi and Gabbie with the rest of the Fab Five and Rachel Crow with Dora! Who's that man with the guitar at Mt. Rushmore and Cody Simpson made the girls go wild and Mannheim Steamroller and a really cool band on a Gibson guitar. 











Jennette McCurdy- Sam from iCarly

Oh wait there is Colbie Calliat, who was that other blonde... that was Miss America! Jennette Mc Curray from iCarly and Trace Adkins and hey, somebody said that was Jimmy Fallon & The Roots on the guitar! There were power rangers and elf on the shelf and yes, Virginia there is a Santa Claus. OH MY GOODNESS! It is Mario and the lady and Gordon from Sesame Street and now I am crying!!! I loved those guys growing up and watched them act silly when my brother was growing up and watched them get old as my son grew up and

I AM CRYING AS I WATCH THEM AT THE MACYS THANKSGIVING DAY PARADE AT NEARLY 40 YEARS OLD!

Sesame Street on Central Park South!





The Fab 5 2012 Olympians





Kareem Abdul- Jabbar





FLO RIDA!



It was fantastic to blend our excitement with that of the crowd. We bounced and got excited. We bounced to keep warm. We worked to explain who they people were... or who we thought they could be. Then it was FLO RIDA! Holy Cow, FLO RIDA is in front of us... dancing with some white chick with pink hair... I WANNA BE HER!!! Then we worked to explain to Lynda how to say FLO RIDA and who he was. It was all so much fun, all so amazing, all so worth every second, every dime and every stumble to get there. If you haven't done it... do it. Make a plan, follow the crowd, and tell me about it. 

 

 



 



 

 

 

 

 P.S. Formatting and pictures suck. I hope you enjoy them!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Above all, be the heroine.

Life presents you with challenges every day. Some challenges are simple. Some challenges feel as though they may kill you. Luckily, most of life’s challenges fall somewhere in between and while we may struggle, we get to the other side relatively unscathed. No matter what the challenge, each of us will meet it with a different perspective. For many, we may meet the same challenge six days before or two years later with a completely different perspective and method of attack (or retreat).  I believe not one person truly has the ability to see a challenge from another’s perspective. While it may be our responsibility to listen, guide or encourage each other through… judgment does not have a place. Judgment is one of life’s greatest challenges.

I have been known as the outgoing, chatty, eccentric, loud type through most of my circles. Despite my readiness to jump in front of the crowd and break into song and dance or stand in front of a room of people and facilitate an all day event, I too struggle with the wonderment or judgment. I may not be very concerned with if they like my hair or outfit, or if my hips look big while I am in front of the crowd- believe that I changed my outfit seven times before I left the house. Chances are the outfit is over the top as a distracter. If I sing off key or am unaware of the answer to a question, I am ok with that- I pride myself in not being perfect and expect some margin of error; and I encourage others to as well. It gives you an amazing degree of confidence to admit you make mistakes and it is really ok.

While we generally place judgment on the things we see and do, the wonderment of judgment affects us more on the inside. I will however feel an emotional hurt or perhaps, notice a psychological void, and bury it with retail therapy, gift giving or an overindulgent meal. We all have our challenges. I have often taken this approach rether than finding a safe spot. I have not always had a person you can go to that says, “I love you no matter what” or a set of arms that when you are snuggled in them you know you are safe and protected from anything. When the world judges, when the stones are cast be it by eyes, words, or deeds, we all need a place that is safe. These amazing people and places may come and go in life. As we are human, our ability to support each other changes as well. Treasure those people and places that feel right and allow those who do not feel safe anymore to go. Find and nurture a spiritual relationship, for that is the only true safe spot that is divine.

When it all comes down to it, God has already written your story. You however, have the power to change it. Only you have the power to become the heroine or the victim. Choose your perspective well, my friends. Know that you can make your story a success; at any moment, at every moment, you have every bit of power that you need to make your story a success. Life is filled with challenges. Be the heroine of your story today.

Cinco de Mayo Salsa

I lived a few great stories this week and have returned to this love of a blog. While searching for pics and reviewing, I realized I missed a few great stories. Here’s to better late than never…

I live near a great little city that offers an amazing array of excitement and entertainment. This Cinco de Mayo I decided to take a suggestion from an amazing barista and try one of our local festivalish adventures and of course, rope a few friends into it too. It hasn’t been since high school that I celebrated this fantastic Mexican holiday. My Spanish has declined from fluent to failing and I was bummed that I didn’t get a true Mexican feast… but I planned to celebrate with dance.

The Shoes

I donned my bright red dress and a fun pair of leopard heels, an outfit sure to make a fantastic night. I saw a reflection of Cha-Cha that I could not deny; I decided to take the big black and red lace flower out of my hair and left it on the bathroom sink. Easy hair, waterproof mascara, ready for a long night, off I went, to brush up on my skills at the early group salsa lesson. I met a friend and we giggled our way in.

The Lesson

 Everybody gather around, just a few simple steps. 1-2-3 and 5-6-7 and… I was feeling that beat I once adored. Make two lines, “who wants to lead?” Before I knew it we were rotating partners and I was on at least my fifth partner. The smooth talking short guy; man I wish my dress wasn’t cut so low. The cocky college kid; “THAT was not the signal.” The tall dark and handsome; he scuffed my shoes and should surely not lead. The sweet oriental guy who never spoke, but smiled nonstop. Then the one, an older gentleman. This partner was smooth and sexy and not at all sexual. He was like dancing con mi tio favorito! I learned so much in just three simple minutes.

The Band

The night went on. I danced with more people than I could count. I found expected friends, made new friends and avoided a few. I danced until my hair looked like I just stepped out of the shower. I learned a few new steps, stumbled over a few partners and danced until I couldn’t dance anymore. It was a new adventure, an old adventure revisited. I had a few hours of pure joy. The crowd was amazing, the band was great, and the simple act of dancing and dancing and dancing brightened my spirit for days. Only one question remains, why have I not salsa’d since?

The Power of Friendship

Last week I took a pretty spontaneous trip to see a person I do not see nearly enough. There are a few people whose friendship will truly endure a lifetime; Angie is one of those friends for me. Angie and I met as adults; we are both nurses and worked on the same unit together. It has been about ten years and I consider her one of my dearest friends. We’ve been through a million laughs, a thousand tears, a hundred pints of ice cream, and a decade of relationships together. She takes me at face value, accepts me for who I am and understands that tomorrow I, and my life, may not be the same, but our friendship will be. There is something to be said about a person who understands with just a notion and not the whole story.

Occoneechee State Park, VA

The power was out for days, the temperature and tempers were on the rise, and Angie posted a simple “come see me” message. I packed up my teenage son and my geriatric dog and off we went. A few circles of wasting time, a garden trail here, a garden trail there and we arrived safely at her door. Three days of renewal ensued. A dinner out, a late morning in, and a walk through a mall out of a teenage dream brought me through the stress of home into the calm of comfort in less than 24 hours. It wasn’t anything special, but it was powerful.  Time with someone who simply, genuinely cares for you can do magnificent things for the soul. There were no amazing conversations, no powerful moments, just my simple need to be taken care of, comforted and understood. By just opening her door, Angie did all of that for me.

Then it happened, she was having company for dinner. Just a few friends over for a barbeque. Great. She knows I do not like many people, especially a group of strange girls. Well, I thought, “if they are Angie’s friends, they must be ok”. I could always go to bed early. I had no idea what an evening of fantastic friends and fun was about to unfold.

This group of women greeted my trio with sincerity and simplicity. We laughed, we shared and we simply enjoyed each other. They gave love to my mutt. They tolerated and even encouraged my son. They made me feel like an insider. A game of “Taboo” brought out all the personalities and I enjoyed every last one. I went to bed with a smile and a few new perspectives. I closed out my retreat with a little bit of just hanging out inside and poolside. I returned home refreshed and able to conquer the stress mounting at home.

Take time for you. Enjoy time with friends. Friendships are renewing. Genuine care and concern is refueling. Acceptance of yourself and that of and from others is truly priceless. So, I close this blog with a basket overflowing with thank you’s. Angie, Bria, OSCAR( the best talking cat ever), Jennifer, Corrie, Caroline, Amara, Sharika-Shakira, and even Caleb and Dutch; I thank you. I needed a little reflection, renewal and revitalization. You guys are fantastic. My only regret… I wish I took a few more pictures, so I could make this blog a little more entertaining. (Some people only read blogs for the pictures.)