Fortieth Birthday Days Away

With my fortieth birthday just a few days away, many people have asked about my progress on THE list: Flying Fabulously into Forty. My answers have been, “I’m not sure” and “I need to check on it” and “I really don’t know.” It’s time I pull up the old blog and check in. As I drove home this evening, I thought about the list. I could barely recall a dozen items from it and certainly not all forty. The lack of service and the twisty, windy nature of Route 20 allowed me to remain deep in thought and resist the temptation of checking my blog from my phone for the drive home. Thirty consecutive minutes of thought, it would have been twenty minutes if it wasn’t so rainy.

As I reflected on the events of the last year I remembered the tutus and tiger ears of the Polar Plunge, the bruises and stitches from Mud Warrior, Thanksgiving in NYC, and the beauty of the Bahamas. I thought about a dozen things that may or may not have been on the list that I said yes to this year. I finally took the leap into graduate school. I went a whole year without dying my hair. I wore a badge that said adjunct faculty. I spent more time with my teenage bestie and a host of friends; old and new. I stopped, I relaxed, and I did nothing. Simple unplanned seconds to long planned adventures; all in the name of being fabulous.

The events of the year were not all fabulous. The forty pounds I hoped to lose, still here. This year, my relationship with my spouse may have had the greatest variety, wax and wane, smile and scream, peak and valley. The hot air balloon ride I listed, never planned the details. Tears, jeers, and fears were shared, hidden, and exploded with my mother leading to the current state of no communication. I neglected my home to enjoy a few others and experiences. I began to put myself first, and sometimes that means someone else is not.

The experiences of this year have all been present for a reason. I have learned from each and every one. Most of all, I have learned that life is never going to stop and wait for you to enjoy it. Life is slipping through our fingers at an amazing rate. I can remember sitting on my Nana’s couch and hearing “Like sands through an hourglass, these are the Days of Our Lives.” Yes, THESE are the days. THESE are the only days we get. The days that the phone is ringing and the laundry is mounding… the days that there is football practice and dinner is late… the days that the kids are sick and the checking account is empty… the days that your husband is cranky, the kids are cranky, and so are you. These are our days. Accept it. Find the joy in it. The list is not complete. The list has created a new perspective. I hope you will join me as I admit not only what is fabulous about forty, but what may not be and how I manage to make it through. J